Pet Loss Library
Recent Dog's Death
Dogs are very intuitive, and although Damen may have seemed like he was thinking unkind, or worried things when you put him to sleep, most likely he was trying to tell you that he would be fine, once this procedure was over. I'm sure he knew that you and your husband loved him very much!
From what you told me, it would seem that you had absolutely NO choice in the matter, and putting Damen down was the very best thing for him. I know it appears harsh from our human perspective, but giving your dog a chance to be healthy and pain free is a wonderful thing. Death is not the end for an animal, and it seems often as if they are able to move right out of their physical body and keep on playing and being happy! It is just us poor humans that don't see that and of course, it makes us sad.
Perhaps in time, you will find some peace in your absolutely correct decision. I hope so. Meanwhile, collect happy memories, and perhaps get a picture of Damen and frame it, and put it someplace where you can see it, and allow it (and Damen) to make you feel more settled about what had to be done. Think as many happy thoughts about him as you can, and I'm sure he will feel how much you still care!
Do let us know how you are getting along.