Pet Loss Library
able to do anything else? I have a very loving and caring family, a husband who loves me and even both my parents are still living ..... both in their 80s. I have MUCH to live for, but I am REALLY hurting and missing my PRECIOUS angel kitty. One point of interest -I have no children, so I am sure dear Marmalade was and IS my child - the son who I will never have, and I'm also sure that is another reason this hurts that much more intensely.)
Today, I spent the day reviewing and going over the pictures of my precious
Dolly, and even went to the store to purchase an extra nice photo album, in which I can put all the pictures of him to treasure. My husband said that is a bit 'odd', but then we all deal with loss in our own way. I just found your website, from some info my sister gave me. I appreciate reading your responses and ideas and opinions in regards to the loss and grieveing of our pets. Please share with me some ways in which I can help myself and in the same time, honor and continue to show respect and the deep deep love I have for my dear companion, Marmalade.
I am a Registered Nurse, and have worked in Home Care for over 15 years, following many years as a cardiac nurse, working in Intensive Care. I care for the elderly, almost exclusively, so death and dying are not new to me. I have lost family members who have meant the world to me, but never before, have I experienced THIS amount of pain, and loss. I'm sure it is due to the fact that Marmalade was a DAILY part of my life, and one who I cherished far more than some realized.
I'd appreciate any responses or help and suggestions as I learn to live withOUT my dear, Sweet Marmalade.
We were touched that you wrote Beyond Indigo seeking help with your sadness and grief. Of course, we are so very sorry to hear about your loss of Marmalade. It is a very hard to thing to lose a pet, especially one that has been with you for so many years, and that has been your child in so many ways.
It would seem that you gave him many good years, and also that you were fortunate to give him and "extra" 14 months.
It would be so "easy" to tell you some number of days, months or weeks that you will feel such pain at the loss of your kitty, but there really is no formula...everyone does have different experiences because of different relationships with their pets. But what I can tell you is that everyone hurts, and the recovery time varies.
We have heard of other people making photo albums/scrap books of their pets, and that does seem to help people. I would suggest you log into the Beyond Indigo message boards. You may find someone "out there" who totally is in the same position you are...and you can share with each other.
My guess is that the acute pain you felt five days ago is somewhat less now than it was then, but again, not to worry if it is not.
You asked some questions:
I am writing to ask ..... when does this pain leave? [This can vary, but gets less raw as the weeks go on...] Will I see him again? [It would seem that you already are! How wonderful that you are so tuned into Marmalade that you can hear him come down the stairs, and feel him close to you. We often have pet
owners tell us that they see their animals curled up in a favorite spot, or that they get a new pet, and just "know" that new pet is really their former one! So, I would say, from what we hear from others that yes, you will know your pet again, but perhaps in a different way!]
How can I deal with my loss so that it doesn't devastate me until I am no longer able to do anything else?[Is this any better yet? Every time you think of your pet, think about the happy times, not the time you have now that is about loss.